There You Go Again Baby Come Hear Dont Have No Fear

By Natasha Crain

This weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to speak at the ReTHINK Student Apologetics Conference (at that place are more of these conferences coming—be certain to check out the link and learn near them!). I always enjoy talking to parents after speaking and this weekend was no exception. One thing I realized this fourth dimension was that ateveryconsequence where I've spoken in the last couple of years, in that location take been parents who share with me later that their child has recently said they no longer believe in God. Sometimes the kids are very young, other times they're well into their adult years. But the question parents bring to me is always the same: "What should I say to them?"

Later on having a couple of long conversations with parents about this over the weekend, I wanted to write this post for others who may be struggling with the same thing. While this is, of class, a circuitous topic, these are 10 of the most important things I retrieve you lot can say to a child ofanyage when they say they don't believe in God anymore. For what information technology's worth, this isn't some kind of theoretical exercise for me. One of my own young kids periodically struggles with this because God tin can't be physically seen. Nosotros have several of these conversations regularly.

1. "Thank y'all for sharing this with me."

There'southward no doubt information technology sends panic into a Christian parent's heart to hear the words, "I don't believe in God anymore" or "I'mnot sure if I believe in God anymore." Merely how nosotros answer to our kid at a time of spiritual crisis (whether they consider it a crisis or non) is critical. If our reaction is fearful, angry, panicked or condemning, nosotros quickly let our kids know that expressing their doubts is not OK. As parents, nosotros demand to be the safest place in our children's lives to take conversations about God or they'll discover another place to get—likely a place where you wouldn't want to observe them.

Only maxim, "Cheers for sharing this with me" lets them know you arehappy they came to you lot, that youwantto talk with them about their feelings, and that expressing doubtfulness in your home iswelcome. To be clear, that doesn't imply you lot're happy about the dubiety itself, simply that you're happy to exist a rubber place for these conversations.

2. "How take you come up to that conclusion?"

Because we love our kids then much and want to quickly bring them dorsum to truth, at that place's a temptation to immediately offset offering a response with reasons to believe in God. But imagine for a moment that you get to the doc when you don't feel well and the physician starts prescribing medicine for a broad range of illnesses without first asking you questions or running tests. That, of course, would be crazy. In the same mode, if we don't know the source of our kids' doubts and how they've come to their conclusions virtually God, nosotros tin't have meaningful conversations to specifically address their concerns. Utilise this question to get the chat going and inquire as many follow upwardly questions as needed to be confident that you truly understand what has led them to doubt God's beingness.

3. "How long take yous felt this fashion?"

This is a helpful diagnostic question because information technology lets you know the depth of the doubtfulness. In some cases, doubtfulness comes as a knee wiggle reaction to a specific outcome—for example, experiencing an unanswered prayer. When there is a single, proximate source of doubt, it tin can be easier to untangle considering you can accost that business organisation directly. However, if it turns out your child has been doubting for years and yous simply didn't know until the day he or she verbalized information technology, at that place's much more history you lot'll need to dig into.

4. "If I could requite you proficient evidence to evidence that God exists, would youswantto exist convinced He exists?"

This is some other helpful diagnostic question because it gives you a window into the heart of your child. Sometimes uncertainty comes from notwantingto believe—and the reasons for non wanting to believe in God tin can be many. If a child says they wouldn't want God to exist, information technology's likely a sign that either one) they have a misunderstanding of who God is (and wouldn't wantthatGod to exist), or 2) are engaged in behaviors they know aren't godly and would rather alive according to their own will. If a child admits that they wouldn't desire God to exist, the most of import conversation you tin have is getting to the bottom ofwhythat's the case. Only and then will you know where to take the discussion next.

For those whoexercise want God to exist but are doubting, go on to the next pieces of conversation.

5. "Having doubtfulness is normal and nothing to be ashamed of."

Ane of the most difficult aspects of having doubt about our faith is feeling that we're somehow abnormal—that if we experience doubt, we're not a "existent" Christian. Merely doubt is actually a normal part of faith. When we don't have certainty about something, there isalways room for doubt. For case, we can be confident that an airplane will safely deliver the states to our destination, simply we tin't be sure of that, so some dubiety should necessarily exist. EvenJohn the Baptistexperienced doubt about Jesus existence the Messiah when circumstances got tough and he was in prison house (see Luke 7:18-30).

Sharing with your kid that doubt is normal tin put them at ease for further conversation. Rather than feeling something is wrong with them (or wrong with God!) because they're doubting, they can feel hopeful that the doubt can be resolved.

6. "Fortunately, God hasn't left the states to just gauge whether or not He's there. He's given us plenty of bear witness."

If you oasis't had some deeper conversations about faith with your kids, in that location's a practiced chance they've never heard the idea that there could actually be evidence for His existence. In the minds of many kids (and adults), believing in God is simply a blind option—not something that is rooted in tangible evidence.Kids take to know this is non the case.Emphasize thattheymay non yet know the bear witness, simply that it exists and you lot want to lead them through it. This simultaneously takes the force per unit area off of them to make a decision about God they may have thought was rooted only in their ain feelingsand sets yous up to suggest the following bespeak.

7. "Let's study the evidence for God's beingness together."

If y'all read the last point and thought, "That's keen, but I have no idea what to say…" have no fear. You don't have to exist a professional apologist (someone who knows how to make a case for and defend the truth of Christianity) to take this conversation. More than a lecture, kids need yous to comealongside them.

In that location is an incredible new resource out this month to help yous and your kids learn together. J. Warner Wallace and his married woman Susie have releasedGod'southward Offense Scene for Kids, which is a book targeted at kids ages 8-12 and follows the topics of the adult bookGod'southward Criminal offense Scene.In the kids' version, the Wallaces use a mystery around a box found in a grandmother'due south cranium to demonstrate how we can look at the prove in the universe to depict conclusions well-nigh the existence of God. It'southward engaging, clear, and unlike annihilation else bachelor for this age group. There'south even a website with free videos and worksheets.

For what it's worth, I had the opportunity to endorse it, which I enthusiastically did. Here's what I said: "God's Criminal offense Scene is my go-to recommendation for anyone who wants to larn nearly the show for God's existence. I was thrilled to hear that a kid's version was coming out, but honestly wondered how Det. Wallace was going to translate some of the more challenging scientific and philosophical concepts into material for 8- to 12-year-olds. Now that I've read information technology, I'thou blown away. This is bright! There's aught else like it, and I'll exist recommending it for years to come."

If your kids are younger, the kids' version would still be helpful foryouto read and get ideas for how to talk about the evidence at your kids' level. If your kids are older, they may already be ready to work through the adult version with you. If your kids are out of the firm, they may not be willing to study anything together, butyoucan study and talk over with them equally the opportunity arises.

8. "If God didn't exist, this is what reality would look like."

In my experience with skeptics who have come up to my blog over the years, many have dumped the idea of God without considering the necessary worldview implications of a globe without Him—many of which run very contrary to our most basic intuitions. This led me to devote the concluding six chapters inTalking with Your Kids about God to helping parents bear witness their kids "The Deviation God Makes." For case:

• What is the significant of life? (There is no objective meaning in a globe without God.)
• Do we really have free will? (In that location is piddling reason to believe we really have free volition in a world without God.)
• What should we practice with our lives? (There can be noshould—no moral obligations—in a world without God.)
• What is our responsibility to other people? (In that location are no objective responsibilities to others in a globe without God.)
• How should we make sense of evil? (There can be no objective right or wrong in a world without God—moral evil cannot be.)

Why does biblical hope affair? (At that place is no ultimate hope in a world without God.)

When we show our kids the necessary implications of an atheistic earth, it tin can aid them come across how the evidence for God is thebest explanation for all the prove we have.

9. "What questions do you lot have about God?"

This is a question that should run aslope all the other points, and on an ongoing basis—whether your kids take doubts right now or not! The best mode to avoid a spiritual crisis later on is by facilitating conversations around kids' questions regularly. For ideas on how to do incorporate an ongoing "questions night" in your family'due south life, come across my postal service How to Become Your Kids to Inquire More than Questions nearly Their Faith. As you work through the prior points with kids who arealready doubting, more questions will surely arise. Brand it a style of life to continually give them a forum for addressing any faith questions are on their mind.

10. I dearest you and God loves you.

Ultimately, regardless of how all the prior conversations go, kids need to know we love them and that God loves them through their questions. In reality, some kids will struggle for years. Simply knowing that their doubts will never split them from our honey builds a relationship that volition foster these of import conversations for a lifetime.

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Source: https://crossexamined.org/10-things-say-child-says-dont-believe-god-anymore/

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